ripples in the pond

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2007-01-01T23:05:00.000-08:00

get the juices flowing...ok. here we go!

thank you to you all for checking back here periodically to see if i have updated. i appreciate it very much, i realize that i do not always return the gesture. it is not something i can make excuses for, it's just the way i am. but, just to let you know i will be updating more often now. especially because i'll be moving and see many of you less frequently. besides, i need an outlet to journal this change through, and blog will be one of them. so, happy new year! and here's looking at you, kid.

P.S. this isn't the update of a lifetime, just an update. a good friend told me not to hold out for perfection, just get those juices flowin' again. so here they flow! (ba dum psh). the update of a lifetime is still coming, stay tuned.

love,

me

Resurrected!

2006-09-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen! Please stay tuned for the update of a lifetime!....

de viaje

2006-05-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

hoy empieza mi viaje. cinco semanas. que bien! os escribo pronto (especialmente tu, pijus)

21 de mayo - 3 de junio: la costa este de EEUU

4 de junio - 23 de junio: !ESPANA!

hasta pronto,

kyle

wolverine?

2006-05-03T20:07:00.000-07:00

para pijus! fotos de mis viajes a barcelona...viva barca!

2006-04-06T09:15:00.000-07:00

la playa...que bonita, no? creo la conoces...:-)

donde has visto woody allen, no? :-)

como me encanta las obras de gaudi! pijus, que te parece?

el metro me lleva todos los lugares que me encanta! lo echo de menos mucho. no lo tenemos aqui en mi ciudad.

sons of bigots

2006-04-06T09:10:00.000-07:00

v.I.
pale pink sheets and soft white lace
adorn this life adorn this bed

pretty blue bows and tall sand castles
we work our lives to build

p.c.I.
raise the wall raise it nice and high
safe inside from the dark of night

close the gate
turn away
all the others

shut your door
shut out
those in need

C.
she loves him so
her father said no
what is a girl
left to do

stuck in between
love and hate unclean
he did no wrong
but be born

v.II.
change your skin change your mind
forsake your family line

maybe then i'll give my racist love
strings attached

p.c.II.
raise the wall, start to wonder why
scared to death of the night

close your mind
turn away
from the truth

shut your heart
shut out
all the pain

C.
she loves him so
her father said no
what is a girl
left to do

stuck in between
love and hate unclean
he did no wrong
but be born

b.I.
why oh why
i don't understand
how one can hate
his fellow man

what happened to peace on earth
good will towards men
we need more love
we need this war to end

b.II.
all you sons of bigots
adulator's wives
the weary and the burdened
the lowly and despised

please forgive our trespasses
our wrongs and our rights
Christ will save us
from the dark of night

He did no wrong, but be born
Lord take me home

Montecello

2006-03-14T02:22:00.000-08:00

Thus in the waning hours of the night he lays still
Betrothed only to the beckoning hours of the morning
If the morning comes at all

So by this meager promise he burdens the cold, the dark, glutton to its secrets
Perpetrator of the night

Binding, sealed with a kiss he puts out the candle
Hot wax splashing

Blood blooming like wine on the soft skin of the mouth
The gentle apothecary has told true
Blessed aroma!

Tangible and fleeting your bitterness lingers
And your body...
To say nothing of your body would be better
Than to feebly describe your goodness
Pewter is not silver and I am no fool

Yet, what I has since entered?
What he is present?

Whether I be he, or he I
There is but one answer

The glass is empty and I am out of drink
So begins the great divorce
Before the union ever passed

Oh, bitter burden
Oh, perpetrator of the night
Fill my glass again

untitled

2006-03-09T13:07:00.000-08:00

please forgive me - i will not salute you
we see right through your fake
smile

baby kissing
missle liffting off
tonight

mother's eldest
won't be coming home this
time

give me a black eye
punch me out - i'll rise
again

flex your power
flash your guns - it's all fleeting in the
end

pressing onward rolling over all the dead
just as long as you're safe and sound in your
bed

three shots fired the war is here
the war is now - not in your
head

this is the nightmare
this is the american
dream

exploding dog

2006-03-03T12:09:00.000-08:00

i love this

Over The Rhine

2006-02-28T13:26:00.000-08:00

I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear

Pour me a glass of wine
Talk deep into the night
Who knows what we'll find

Intuition, deja vu
The Holy Ghost haunting you
Whatever you got
I don't mind

Put your elbows on the table
I'll listen long as I am able
There's nowhere I'd rather be

Secret fears, the supernatural
Thank God for this new laughter
Thank God the joke's on me

We've seen the landfill rainbow
We've seen the junkyard of love
Baby it's no place for you and me

I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear

"Born"
Drunkard's Prayer

lost

2006-02-28T13:04:00.000-08:00

lost in translation is easily my favorite movie...at least one of them. it is just so perfect for me. we all have movies like that. please share which movies mold your artistic perception of life or just resonate with you. i think this will be fun.

eternity....

2006-02-23T12:47:00.000-08:00

we tend to think of eternity as haveing a begining, i.e. eternity will start when we get to heaven. however by it's definition it is also retro-active. this should raise some interesting questions about our existance here on earth in terms of it being in hell, or in heaven. good food for thought...

some of my favorite things...

2006-02-22T03:27:00.000-08:00

so on certain nights i do enjoy going to the district to hang with friends, meet new people, or just enjoy being out. tonight was kali's midnight bday bash, so we all went out, i was the dd :-) however all this is aside the point.

what i really enjoy is going to la taqueria mexico on glassell and katella (open 24 hrs) it is just so good. the minute you walk in you have doubts: is this safe? is the food safe? am i going to regret this? but if you stop for a moment you will notice that they have a few things going on. the first being that they do have a good health deparment seal. the second being that there are always people there - always. the third being that the tacos are so incredible, you'll keep coming back for more, especially during the wee hours of the morning.

now it just so happens that in this particular taco place there is also a donut store.
now this is where it gets really good. if you know me, you know that somewhere along the line i developed a weakness for donuts. they are so scrumptous. the doughy sweetness, melting in my mouth...the glaze coating my lips. sooooo good.
of course the best is when they are fresh, at about 2/3 in the moring they start pumping out the piping hot donuts, and if i'm there, i can't help but to buy a dozen for a mere $5.60

so if you're ever in the neighborhood, please treat yourself to a taco and donut, you'll never go back. mmmm.

v6.3

2006-02-21T00:06:00.000-08:00

why is it that itunes comes out with a new version every month? seriously, will it never end?

on another more exciting note we all went to go see the fighting jacks this sunday at the gig in la. that was really cool. it was nice to be with the roommate, ac, and grant. there were many highlights however it may be of poor taste to try and confine such amazing events into mere verbage. i must say it involved something very strong, fruity, and sweet - and no it was not you grant, well...nevermind.

over compensation?

2006-02-20T17:36:00.000-08:00

so i kind of posted a lot...all at once...just tidbits though...more meat on the way.

eagle and talon

2006-02-20T17:34:00.000-08:00

i love them so much.

wed. 9:00 pm
silverlake lounge
sunset strip

www.eagleandtalon.com

Sundsvall - not to be confused with water.

2006-02-20T17:31:00.000-08:00

Grant this is for you:

"Sweden's Sundsvall, a hand-crafted "luxury" vodka, has arrived in the U.S. thanks to Seagram Americas. The 80 proof vodka carries a full-bodied, grainy aroma and flavor, and will be positioned as the Martini vodka, as opposed to a vodka for fruity alternatinis. Also be on the lookout for Sundsvalls "Conversations" ad campaign."

Adams Beverage Group © 200

the jujube kingdom

2006-02-20T17:24:00.000-08:00

i have a bet going about jujubes right now. the sad thing is, i don't exactly remember what i bet or what it was against. but i love the jujube commercial where a guy is at meeting and the boss is thinking about jujubes and the jujube kingdom and all he says after is "jujube?"...i think i need to go buy a box...mmm....

i'm back

2006-02-20T17:23:00.000-08:00

after a long unplanned hiatus from most forms of online communication i am back. sorry to have left you for so long.

Piano

2005-12-13T13:50:00.000-08:00

Softly, in the dusk a woman is singing to me;
Taking me back down the vista of years, till I see
A child sitting under the piano, in the boom of the tingling strings
And pressing the small, poised feet of a mother who smiles as she sings.

In spite of myself, the insidious mastery of song
Betrays me back, till the heart of me weeps to belong
To the old Sunday evening at home, with the winter outside
And hymns in the cozy parlor, the tinkling of the piano our guide.

So now it is vain for the singer to burst into clamor
With the great black piano appassionato. The glamor
Of childish days is upon me, my manhood is cast
Down in the flood of remembrance, I weep like a child for the past.

D.H. Lawrence

On the set of "Project 7"

2005-12-03T13:28:00.001-08:00

Last night those of us brave enough to dive into the creative realm of Josh Valentine's mind stepped onto the set of "Project 7." It was quite the evening of movie magic, here are some highlights for you to enjoy.

Brett in full costume - two flesh wounds by golf club, ouch.

Me - Grant, I think I'm in love with your guns.

Sarah, the faithful Dalia

Autumn - tied and gagged in the closet.

The Director, Camera One, and the Villian

reflections...

2005-11-28T16:54:00.000-08:00

upon browsing through my photo albums i found this snapshot i took up in san fran this september. it was outside one of the cathedrals, he was just sitting there: no begging, no crying, etc. just reading. after some thought myself and others concluded that he is probably a college student performing some type of field study.

grant, i could see you doing something like this, well and aro too. "testing for human kindness" interesting. i could write more, but it would only pale in comparison to what your brain is thinking right now, interacting with the image, contemplating your world view or something of that nature. be blessed, be kind, be loved.

Idylls of the King

2005-11-26T17:41:00.000-08:00

"To the island-valley of Avilion;
Where falls not hail, or rain, or any snow,
Nor ever wind blows loudly; but it lies
Deep-meadowed, happy, fair with orchard lawns
And bowery hollows crowned with summer sea,
Where I will heal me of my grievous wound."

Lord Tennyson

Falling Up

2005-11-11T07:47:00.000-08:00

kyle warner, 2003 – acrylic & charcoal on board and drawing paper
Have you ever felt like someone suddenly turned gravity off? The reality I live can often become nothing more than a game; governed by rules and competition, I sometimes feel like a pawn. I was not made for this game. I have been fashioned and reworked over and over for an entirely different purpose, even if I don’t always know what it is. Even though the chessboard may fall apart and float into the blackness, the stone that this little pawn has been carved of will remain.

Bright Idea

2005-11-11T07:42:00.000-08:00

kyle warner, 2003 - acrylic medium/paint & spray paint on drawing paper
How many facets of the human mind are there? How far can we evolve in this world before we reach full saturation and start to spoil? This is about the possibilities of the human mind and the power of free will. Language, color, ideas, war, catastrophe, beauty – all existing simultaneously and yet different. One sub-theme you may notice is the generic figure repeated again and again, all the same. Politicians, businessmen. These are people with power, do you know who they are, what they stand for. It’s easy for me to surrender so many of the problems in this world to them and do nothing more. We can be so intelligent but so ignorant at the same time.

Matchstick

2005-11-10T00:42:00.000-08:00

a series exploring the deconstruction of an image through formal abstraction (4 parts)
(this is for you grant)

Potential Combustion
kyle warner, 2003 – colored paper on illustration board
A frame-by-frame look into the life and death of a match. Its life so short and fragile, it’s potential so huge; this one match could start a forest fire. It could burn away all the dead lifeless growth and make room for the new. Or it could provide warmth to eager hands on a cold night. It can heat food and cook it. All of these possibilities lie ahead. This match, this match will light a cigarette and quiver its last flame as the oxygen is inhaled through it. It will fight to spark alive again as it is shaken out with a wisp of smoke and thrown to the wet ground and crushed by the bottom of a foot. People aren’t so different.

sublime

2005-11-03T18:16:00.000-08:00

sitting on the edge of this delighful horror
oh so sublime
thundering waterfalls, raging storms, roaring
hearts
traverse the landscape, the moment of romance
such rewards
almost being overcome by eclipse almost
in the avalanche
so sublime
burry me whole

i am alice

2005-10-31T12:58:00.000-08:00

rocket to venus firefly - fuel my destiny demise
ramify my love with disaster - implode on me just one more time
kill that hope inside with lies - the rope around your neck
be just what you are, no more no less

losing my mind - constantly deprived
the nothingness plagues life - sight
divine intervention - oh so blind
losing my mind - my inhibition prevails again

jump down the rabbit hole with me tonight
twist and turn - we will learn to see in low light
exit signs all around, they lead right back to here
run away, give up, lay down and die my dear

she's driving me mad, i fear - won't escape her presence
venus speaks like wine so sweet - drink it all in
feel the fireflys dance inside - rise up to my head
rise up to my head, my heart, my love - my love

losing my mind, panic inside - metaphysical collide
to be what you are, what you are - what you are to me
i spin away in the starry night - is this rapture? it's rapture
oh this love........
oh this love........
just jump down the rabbit hole tonight
just jump down the rabbit hole tonight
ramify me
ramify me
rise up to my head inhibition

joder!

2005-10-29T14:12:00.000-07:00

tal vez tengo que decir eso. lo siento si os la molesta. ayer fue un buen dia, al final. pero todavia estoy tan confudido sobre relaciones, mujeres, el pasado, y mi fe. que Dios me diga que pasa! por favor! me gustaria ser mas tranquilo, dedo confiar mas. a vivir mejor, poco a poco. tantas cosa! oy! no se las palabras que escribire. ellas me vengan.

2005-10-24T18:45:00.000-07:00

lets waltz in the kitchen
two step down the hall
show me that rhumba
baby you know them all

but i'm waiting for that slow dance
and the second chance
to fall in love

switchfoot

2005-10-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

Tell you where you need to go
Tell you who you need to be
Tell you what you need to know
Tell you when you’ll need to leave

But everything inside you know
Says more than what you’ve heard
So much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

And you’re on fire
When He’s near you
You’re on fire
When He speaks
You’re on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything You are
Give me one more chance to be... (near You)

Cause everything inside looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I’ll take

When I’m on fire
When You’re near me
I’m on fire
When You speak
And I’m on fire
Burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...

I’m standing on the edge of me
I’m standing on the edge

down

2005-10-19T16:44:00.000-07:00

depression's a bitch.

arbus

2005-10-17T13:10:00.000-07:00

arbus was a fashion photographer during the sixties, however she shifted focus during these years and began to photograph normal people (maybe not completely normal) in different situations. the reality she dipicts is quite surreal. this is one of my favorites so far. it just makes me laugh. (is that bad?)

beheaded baptist

2005-10-11T01:40:00.000-07:00

barefooted john rest his head in his hand
the lamb not far away
the fields are blooming the drought soon will come
why do you look so sad?

revealing your hunger, your hair hides your eyes
when was your stomach last full?
wrinkles give way to a beckoning smile
so calm, so quiet, so near

you seem to be practicing the art of dying well
don't advance yet, don't recoil
there's no shame in mortality
brother john

this is not chapel, this is not church
anything at all but cloister
this is the dirt this is the dust
sea shells for your soul

the dove flys high toward the sun
melting like beeswax
radiante phoenix
your wings are on fire

madrid

2005-10-09T16:38:00.000-07:00

i took this picture in madrid...i never knew i would grow to envy it, it seemed so charming at the time...

strange things are afoot in weather like this...

2005-10-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

...and the wind wisped away any hint of what may have been a thought.

ugly mug

2005-10-08T12:35:00.000-07:00

jack rabbit slim, kindred fall, and our life aquarius. good show. good bands. mediocre photos, or maybe photographer?

html

2005-10-07T11:03:00.000-07:00

you may scoff, but thanks to the super powers of my axis ally and roomate, the world of html seems much less daunting. note the nice new link section to my friends blogs...tell me if you want a link! :-)

2005-10-06T01:46:00.000-07:00

futile red

2005-10-03T23:08:00.000-07:00

abandon begging, lust bathing
red.
panic striken, rushing - stop
red.
heart feeding, blood bleeding life
red.
passion raging, colors fading
red.
bull charging, swords sparring
red.
lights shining, minds coniving
red.
leaves sailing, time changing
red.
seas parting, tides marking
red.
fruit fleshing, sin dripping
red.
rust running, skin piercing
red.

dc*b

2005-10-01T10:01:00.000-07:00

Deconstruction is a post-structuralist philosophical theory related originally to the reading and interpreting of texts. It ignores the referential theory of language; language is not seen as a neutral tool that matches up beliefs, feelings, and thoughts to the outside world; rather it is seen as a thing in itself, as capable of creating our thoughts and feelings as it is reflecting them - the idea of the referent as distinct and separate, entirely unlinked, to the signifier is rejected. The origin of "deconstruction" is an intentionally informed collision of the words "construction" and "destruction" representing the idea of the process of theoretically taking apart a text and then putting it back together again. The deconstruction of a text does not aim to render it meaningless; instead, the goal is to probe and extend the potential meanings of it in order to better understand it. The purpose of this recording is to situate our contemporary music production in relation to these issues that inform it. Despite current cultural claims as to the presentness of this juncture, with its attendant ambition to agency and instrumentality, the issues of current concern are perhaps best understood in relation to a long trajectory of rejections, inversions and continuances. To expose the historic condition that underlies contemporary projects this recording presents a triangulation of timely and (seemingly) archaic topics. In an attempt to cast the possibilities (and limits) of the moment, we have constructed three arcs of collision. 1. Illuminate Compositions-An informative examination of light-A study of light will split it apart-Refraction is necessary to discovery. 2. A Small Collection of Interpreters and their Interpretations-Here, light is refracted-Prisms dangle and colors divide. 3. You our Subjective Listener-Exploring specific tensions and instabilities-Questioning the priority of things which are set up as original, natural, and/or self-evident-Attending to how texts subvert, exceed, or even overturn their author's stated purposes-To examine the "rhetoricity" of the work, the reliance on rhetorical figures and figurative language-Reveal and subvert the tacit metaphysical presuppositions of thought-A play of internal counter-forces, disseminates into an indefinite range of self-conflicting significations. We offer this in hopes that your life tears it apart and puts it back together and/or that it tears apart your life and puts it back together.

suicide #7

2005-09-28T23:44:00.000-07:00

i feel the ebb and flow of life so strongly that often i break down and weep. the feeling that every fiber in my being could explode from the harmonious vibrations of His love. simplistic and often over looked is the sincerity that makes my heart shudder with joy so powerful that it aches in bitter longing. our stories are written not always by our own hand but by those that hold it tightly, sharing the moments that never come again; but will always be remembered. never again can i return to the chapters that are my history, but longingly look upon the pages, illustrating my nostalgia with vibrant colorful emotion, and the irony that the present often brings. laughing so hard that your face freezes in an endless smile, sharing like no one has heard what happened, crying as if your tears watered the earth, loving with all the love you have - and saying it. saying i love you. hugging those you see everyday because you can. everyone wants to shower their affection on the world, but they don't - or they can't. We have been raised never having learned or have grown so shy, self-conscious, and afraid that we will be seen as weak, as eccentric. in our quest for self-righteousness we justify these reserved behaviors with the idea that it is all just a cliché anyway. we give up, we lose hope, we stop trying. maybe we awaken again and see, maybe we die blind. how long will we see the world in black and white? the paint of our Creator screams alive! screams color! screams whispers of joy!...but we don't listen. i know i have grown deaf in my maturity, in my quest for knowledge, for skill and reward, for money, for high culture and society - for everything that i am told: to be, to want, to do. woe says i. how long will i let these walls stand? calloused and stale, i am pent up will ideas and desires for a world that does not exist. filled up with sorrow for the evil and suffering that does. killed by the slavery that we bond ourselves to, only to by abused. i want to scream! overwhelmed with expression i cannot even create. how i long to overflow, to give love. look up at the stars, can you feel it? clear your mind, open your soul's eye, your heart's ears, your body's mind. in an infinite second you can remember your entire life, from your mother's womb to this morning when you woke. are we so distant from the miracles that surround us? have we explained everything rationally and logically? i dare to hope not, but i sense that for many of us it is so. i do not know what will happen. in the numbness that is slowly growing in this world there is still a nerve that pulses strong. can't you feel it in your soul? when you lay your head on your father's chest and hear his steady heart. when the sun breaks over the horizon and a new day has begun. the feeling of a supernatural encounter so surreal and powerful, that only a fool would believe you? i am that fool. so hear i leave you, continuing on my journey, continuing in my faith. broken and confused just like everyone, i walk on. step by step, day by day. i don't have all the answers, and i don't want to, but i never want to stop asking...why? if at some point along this narrow path our footsteps should cross, i would consider it an honor, truly, i would. if there is ever anything i can do to help along the way, please ask, it would be my joy to serve you as i can. vaya con dios.

2005-09-28T12:37:00.000-07:00

in the static, in the glow of the ever present hum
i forfiet all my senses
in the fight they do succomb to the numbness
dying one by one

Jimmy Eat World

2005-09-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

"Half Right"

[Originally by Heatmiser]

Well you shouldn't doctor yourself
Well I pictured somebody else
Someone who looks like what I look like
Would you say that the one of your dreams
Got in you and ripped out the seams
That's what I'd say
That's what I'd say

He was a sucker for your double dose
Mother fucker turned white as a ghost
Don't you say hi
Don't you say hi

With your broken sink for a face
In a head that just takes up space
He's not half right
He's not half right

It's already half past
And it won't last

I was sticking up for my friend
When there's nothing much to defend
It's a lost fight
It's a lost fight

Cause when I talk to you on the phone
Well, it's just like being alone
It's not half right
It's not half right

2005-09-16T12:29:00.000-07:00

cuando...

2005-07-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

por eso, cuando quiera escribir sin pensar, escribo en espanol. porque como asi mis suenos, mis sentimientos, mis palabras son como los quiero. no tengo que tener cuidad por los ojos que me leen. nunca me digas me amas mas. eres infiel, eres nada mas que energia negativa. no puedo mas, no puedo. sabes que te digo? solamente una vez, por favor, por favor. me saques la vida, mi sangre, mi espiritu. estoy tan bajo que nunca, pero no vuelvo a las pastillas, sabes porque? porque la verdad podria ser falso. venga, me voy, me fui, nunca jamas. fin.

i'm back!

2005-06-27T00:35:00.000-07:00

hello there!

blog

2005-03-31T14:16:00.000-08:00

Hi blog. Nice to meet you. I think this is going to be the start of something great.